Porn Versus Addiction

Everyone has a right to explore and enjoy THEIR sexuality, so long as it’s pleasure without problems. It’s that simple.

Porn is the number one thing on the internet. Let’s not avoid this issue, let’s not pretend porn is going away, and let’s not be afraid to confront the real issues that underlie the problems around porn. I’ll be making the case throughout this essay that the solutions to all problems related to porn are found on the individual level. The solution is personal responsibility on the individual level.

Some individuals use porn, and it causes problems. Some individuals use porn, and it causes pleasure without problems. What does this mean? It means porn isn’t the problem, people who don’t know what they are doing is the problem.

Yes, porn can cause harm. Yes, Internet porn can become a problem. Sexual pleasure isn’t as simple as: “it’s just pleasure.” There are many factors to consider.

There is a difference between conscious and healthy use of porn to deliver joyful doses of pleasure, and automatic unhealthy use of porn to deliver non-stop doses of pleasure until a brain is fried. Porn use should be enhancing the libido for real-life ecstasy with a partner, expanding the imagination for a stronger individual, and making people really damn happy to be alive. Porn use should not be diminishing the libido or replacing real-life ecstasy with a partner, caging the imagination which weakens the individual, or making people really confused about what it means to be alive.

What repercussions porn will have is primarily determined by the user—that user’s awareness and education about their own sexuality and brain functions. People need to get educated about what they are doing to themselves on every level when they watch porn, so they can make the smart choices, eliminate the problems, and maximize the pleasure. The problems with porn are the problems with people.

Sexual pleasure isn’t a sin. There is nothing inherently wrong with sexual pleasure. It’s the repercussions of sexual pleasure where the right and wrong come in.

There are 5 basic needs of the body: air, shelter, water, food, and sex. In that order. Yes, the drive for sexual pleasure is a need of the body (good luck to you if you think otherwise). One could argue that pleasure is the need, not necessarily sex, and to a very large extent that is true. But come on, trying to tell people they can just shut off their sex drive doesn’t work out too well—I’m sure I don’t need to give you any examples. And just as the young male athlete needs more nutrition than the old lady, our needs for sex vary as well.

We are designed to experience sexual pleasure. It’s built into our biology. And what happens as someone goes without food? They become increasingly desperate, and will become more and more willing to commit immoral behavior to get it. This doesn’t explain every sexually related problem in the world, but it is a factor that needs to be considered.

Did you know: The more sexual freedom and satisfaction a society has the less violent it is? Every study ever done has shown that. If you can find evidence to the contrary, please send it to me and I’ll post it right here.

There are many problems associated with porn. I am by no means advocating all types of porn and all levels of use. Women, as well as men, should always be respected and honored no matter how wild, kinky, or messy the porn might be. Healthy sex is always pleasurable for everyone involved, and always chosen by everyone involved. While money is a part of social reality, that doesn’t mean “money is god” and we just abandon all concern for morality, art, and love.

There are some seriously messed up types of porn out there, that need to be stopped. Unfortunately, if an audience wants to see it, there’s gonna be a market for it. That’s just how things work. When the audience for that porn leaves, so too will that porn.

It can be a very difficult and unsettling subject for some, but younger and younger minds are being introduced to sexuality not by a wise parent or grandparent. Rather, some throwaway porno that isn’t about education, wisdom, or anything other than sex and profits is introducing them to sexuality. That’s a serious problem, that needs to be addressed, on mass by everyone in society. Specifically, by parents. By the parents who are too busy with work and their own selves to realize they’ve lost emotional contact with their growing kids.

There are far too many young minds out there “learning” about sex from shallow and degrading internet porn. One of the reasons I do what I do is to hopefully attract those young minds to my work, where they can not only explore and enjoy their sexuality but actually learn and understand the differences between fantasy and reality, and realize that love and honesty are far more important than genital entertainment.

If anyone out here is upset at what I just said: good. YOU teach your kids about sex. YOU explain to them what they should do with such powerful sexual desires. YOU ensure that they are allowed to satisfy and enjoy their healthy sexual NEEDS, and they will do so without causing any problems.

Yes, I know reality can be upsetting, but every child’s innocence eventually ends, their sex-drive will kick into full gear, and they’re gonna want to fuck, XXX rated and intense. And there is nothing inherently wrong with that. It’s part of Nature, it’s part of our humanity, it’s part of growing up. What’s wrong, is when that 100mph sex-drive doesn’t have someone awake and aware driving behind the wheel, but rather has a half-asleep nitwit too busy with their cell phone to see where they’re truly going in life. I stand for the direction of sexual desires, not the denial of them.

Yes, I’m a sexual entertainer, but I’m also a sexual educator. While I do love to put on a show, I love to bring real happiness to people however I can, and happiness is directly dependent on what information people base their lives upon. If that information is dis-empowering and false, yet believed to be true, it’s no wonder what will happen.

I stand, in every way I can, to combine porn with healthy and loving appreciation of both women and men, and to combine sexual fantasy with emotionally-charged sexual pleasure (meaning it’s not mindless sex, it’s mindful sex). Society needs to establish standards for porn. Rather than calling for an outright end of porn, which is never gonna happen, let’s all agree on three things: 1; Porn isn’t going away. 2; All porn, whether on physical screens or mental screens, needs to honor and respect both women and men. 3; Users of porn need to be fully educated about the psychological, neuro-chemical, and social affects, so they will use porn to cause pleasure without problems.

Society needs to return to Goddess worship. I’ll skip the 10 hour lecture on that here, as it covers a wide variety of topics, but the relevant line is: Sexuality needs to always be associated with positive loving emotions no matter what its context is. There is an owner to that ass. There is a being behind those boobs. There is a spirit incarnated within that wonderful flesh—enjoy both.

(I generally word things here for a male audience’s perspective, but it equally applies to female audiences as well.)

I’m going to address the issue of porn and its effects more than its creation. Porn’s creation is a big topic unto itself, but it comes down to individuals making smart and healthy choices. If a woman is going to engage in degrading horrible activity for money, she’s got problems. She’s making the bad choices. Nobody has a gun to her head demanding she engage in disgusting behavior to film a porno. Her greed is to blame, far more than anything else. That doesn’t mean there isn’t blame to place on everyone involved in horrible porn, because there is, but people make their choices. And that is what it always comes down to. I’ve had enough with the bullshit shallowness of the human Ego, that will place blame on ANYTHING other than the individual. Haven’t you?

People should never sacrifice self-respect for a paycheck. If you don’t enjoy and agree to it—don’t do it. Free Will doesn’t mean you can make horrible choices without consequences. Make choices that uplift and inspire you, however YOU are uplifted and inspired. Personally, I thoroughly enjoy what I do as a porn star. But that’s me.

Porn and art are not mutually exclusive. Porn can be completely not artistic. And art can be highly pornographic. Art is one of those intangible subjective words that different people attach different meanings to, but whatever people claim, one thing is objectively sure: porn is popular. Let’s try to make it as beautiful, respectful, and artistic as possible.

(And keep in mind I’m not part of the “industry.” I do my own thing in my own way on my own terms. The people I have sex with on camera are the people I have sex with off camera. I’m far move interested in displaying XXX sexual love than XXX sexual pleasure.)

I’m both defending porn’s healthy use, and explaining some things to help people end the unhealthy use of porn. Addiction to porn is a horrible thing, and I seek to end it. However, porn itself isn’t the horrible thing.

Some people get addicted to eating food. Does that make eating food an evil thing? Some people get addicted to working out, and they became shallow vain people. Does that make working out an evil thing? Some people get addicted to porn. Does that make porn an evil thing? Or is the addiction the evil thing?

Of course, one could argue that some people get addicted to crack-cocaine, and other things that are horrible for you even one time. So now the question becomes: is porn a horrible thing that should be stopped, addiction or not?

Every study I’ve ever come across looking into the healthy use of porn has shown it’s ether neutral or positive for people. Every study I’ve ever come across looking into porn addiction has shown it’s bad for people.

Duh. It’s an addiction.

People have been “watching porn” in their own heads, their own imaginations, their own mental screens, for as long as humans have been having sex. Arguing that the screens upon the eyes is evil yet the screens within the mind is okay, requires a thorough explanation and investigation. One can’t just claim “porn is bad for you,” and then leave it at that. Why is porn bad for you, yet a sexual fantasy is okay? Why are the screens upon the eyes denigrating women, yet the wild fuck-fests happening in a man’s mind not even talked about? So… what? We need to stop porn on the screens and porn in the mind as well? Good luck with that.

Science has shown that when someone imagines themselves doing something, the same areas of the brain light up when they do that something for real. Whether you actually swing a baseball bat, or just imagine it, your brain works similar parts. Whether you actually fuck her brains out, or just imagine it, your brain works similar parts. Of course there are vast differences between just imagining something and then actually doing it in physical reality, but they are much closer than most people tend to think. The effects of fiction are not fake.

While yes, 5 minutes on the Internet can show more beautiful women to a man than someone from primitive days would have seen in their entire lifetime, that’s not automatically a horrible thing. Beautiful women should be enhancing a man’s libido, not diminishing it. A man seeing all that sexy beauty should make him hard and ready to go all the more. If all those beautiful images are diminishing his sex drive, because he has yet to figure out that ejaculation is only part of sex, not sex=ejaculation, than the fault is with that individual.

If a man sees all that promising female, yet he doesn’t ejaculate, it leaves his libido super-charged, you could even say a bit “pissed off,” and it will ramp up his testosterone and his manliness, to “get that female.” Plenty of men enjoy porn and are horny 24/7 with no performance issues and no lack of desire for a real partner. So where exactly should blame be placed: internet porn that isn’t going away, or the individual who is capable of radical change? Guys, discipline your desire to ejaculate and it will work wonders to forge you into the man you really want to be.

It is absolutely vital that men learn to enjoy porn, masturbation, and sex, without ejaculating. While it’s perfectly fine to ejaculate from time to time, multiple times a day is a very bad thing. Sex isn’t about ejaculation—ejaculation is part of sex. This is a very complex subject that gets into all kinds of good stuff like metaphysics and body energy, but if you think I’m wrong guys, prove it to yourself. Stop ejaculating for as long as you can, while still enjoying sex, and see what happens to your overall energy and life. Make it a fun, teasing game, where you manly badass willpower comes in, and push yourself to not ejaculate. It will make that eventual ejaculation all the more intense and messy anyway. (Which is just how I, Fyre Melons, like it by the way.)

And the same goes for the ladies. Avoid clitoral and super-squirting orgasms for awhile, build up desires while still thoroughly enjoying sex, and see what it does for you. Again, sex isn’t about orgasm—orgasm is part of sex.

So what is truly to blame for a porn addiction, or sexual performance issues from watching porn, or any problem related to porn? Individuals who don’t take conscious responsibility for their own porn use, or an industry that isn’t going away?

Imagine if an individual used porn and masturbation for… pleasure. And that’s the full story. That the pleasure centers of the brain could get healthy doses of pleasure, instead of bombardments, because of the choices made by the individual. What a crazy idea: putting the responsibility on the individual.

If porn gets in the way of a healthy loving relationship, than of course it’s an unhealthy bad thing. But if porn is used as a healthy way for one or both of the partners to explore and enjoy fantasies, than it’s simply a fun thing. Be open and honest about sexuality!

And if someone is going to prefer a fantasy over a loving real life partner because of looks, they got problems. Anyone who prioritizes appearance over connection needs help. There is no replacement for a loving bonded sexual relationship with another human being, and if someone is being convinced there is, they really need to consider if they have a real relationship or just another distraction. They need to get their priorities in order.

It’s an entire complex and loaded subject unto itself, but a lot of people in the world do not fully understand what is make-believe and what is reality. And that is a core reason why porn can cause problems. Enjoy the Fantasy. Deal with Reality.

One of the core debates around porn is whether or not looking at porn on a screen with the eyes is a bad thing. Some claim looking at a partner and imagining a partner is fine, but looking at a screen is bad. Why?

The immediate argument is that the brain gets hit with pleasure chemicals and makes associations between the image on the screen and the pleasurable chemicals, and then when the imagination is used or a real-life partner is looked at/touched, pleasure is impossible.

Now, if taken to the extreme, if someone completely rewires their brain, if someone programs themselves to prefer porn over a real partner/their imagination, than it’s a problem. But not everyone who enjoys porn automatically reprograms their entire brain and is no longer stimulated by a real partner or their own imagination. Yes, some people do screw up their brain’s pleasure responses, but not everyone. So what’s going on here?

I’ve talked with some guys who had watched porn for years, and when they got into a sexual relationship all it took was a simple little kiss and they would become rock-hard and ready to go. I’ve talked with some guys who had watched porn for years, and when they got into a sexual relationship, no amount of simulation was enough for them to get aroused. So what’s going on here?

The human mind is a vast, complex, and tricky thing. It can be a living adapting net that traps you no matter what, or an immensely powerful and imaginative creator. It can be one hell of a crafty trickster to keep things down, or a powerful liberator to uplift and inspire. The mind is about programs, associations, and emotions, and so much more. I’ll try to explain this quick and easy, to skip the full lecture, so please keep in mind I’m skimming over the surface of a vast ocean.

No two trees are exactly the same. No two brains are exactly the same. No two people’s experiences, responses, and needs are exactly the same. Similar, yes. But not exactly. As someone watches porn, gets aroused, and gets off, there is a context for that experience in their mind. A category, a folder, a place where it is organized.

Example 1: For years, across hundreds of times, the individual keeps their experiences of porn in the folder named: “This is all fantasy. It’s not reality. Feel free to enjoy and explore what’s in this folder, but also stay aware that it can never be a replacement for reality. What you are enjoying here is not a replacement for anything. It’s merely a nice addition. In fact, it’s motivation to experience all this hot sex for real.”

Example 2: For years, across hundreds of times, the individual keeps their experiences of porn in the folder named: “This is all fantasy, not reality… but it sure is easier than reality. I don’t have to put up with all that bullshit that comes with a real-life partner. Hell, this is better than real-life. I’m never gonna find a partner as attractive, who’d do all those things for me. I don’t see what the problem is. This is so much cheaper too, in fact it’s free! I prefer the fantasy over reality, I would rather experience this than real-life.“

Is it any wonder what ends up happening?

Of course, I’m being very general here with my “folders,” because I have to be. No two people have the exact same folders, the exact same mental programs, the exact same set of instructions.

And now we come to the argument that porn should be stopped because human beings are too fucking weak to use it in healthy ways, porn always rewires brains no matter what, and it can only end up causing problems—no exceptions. Nobody is capable of enjoying porn without destroying their desire for a real life partner, diminishing their libido, and warping their understanding of what real-life complex relationships involve.

Congratulations to the anti-porn people! You win. That’s right, human beings are too weak to discern fantasy from reality. So, now we need to stop enjoying every form of media, because humans just can’t figure out that movies and TV are fake. We can’t figure out books and imagination are fake. We can’t even figure out pixels on a screen are completely different from reality. We just don’t have the mental capacity to be able to enjoy the fantasy and deal with reality.

The solution to so many problems in this world, including many of those related to porn, is for people to wake the fuck up and learn what is actual, objective, absolute reality, and what is pretend, subjective, make-believe fantasy. You can not change reality by living in the imagination—you can only change reality by living from the imagination.

(As a sidenote I feel passionate about: Take a suitcase full of hundred dollar bills, travel back in time to feudal Japan, and offer a Samurai all that money for his Katana. Good luck. Money’s value is completely imaginary!)

We humans are designed to enjoy and explore our imaginations, just as we designed to use our imaginations to help figure out what exactly is reality, how best to live in it, and how best to change it. Sexual fantasy, meaning mental porn, is never going to leave the imagination, and it is therefore never going to leave our creations. If you don’t enjoy porn, don’t. And if you wish to help fight the problems associated with porn, than we’re on the same side.

The question of porn being good or bad is all about its effects upon the individual, and how that individual uses it. If porn is used for healthy doses of pleasure, like humans are designed to experience, it’s fine. If porn is used for unhealthy non-stop doses of pleasure, it becomes an addiction and causes problems.

Let’s move through different scenarios for sex, and think about what effects it has on the individual. I’m not looking at anything here besides the effects the sex has on the individual’s mental and emotional state, both short-term and long-term.

Two people have physically contacting sex, on a regular basis, who have positive emotional feelings toward one another. Each of them are happy to begin with, and they share their happiness with each other. Their relationship is built on genuine connection, and the sex is a wonderful addition. Their sexual experiences result in no problems, and only helps to make them more happy and bonded. Because they have a solid foundation in real emotions, what they build on top is destined to thrive. Their sexual pleasure is associated with positive, appreciative, and loving emotions.

Two people have physically contacting sex, on an addiction-level basis, who view each other only as sex-objects, with no powerful emotions. Each of them are missing something in their lives (heart), and so they try to fill in the blank by having great sex. Their relationship is built on sexual pleasure. Beyond that, they got nothing going with each other. Their sexual experiences result in no obvious immediate problems, but it’s shallow heartless sex that doesn’t cause any sort of bonding, and eats up an enormous amount of their time and energy. It’s emotionless and meaningless sexual pleasure, that eventually results in problems. Because they don’t have a solid foundation in real emotions, what they build on top is doomed to topple. Their sexual pleasure is associated with Ego, it’s disconnected from positive loving emotions.

One person masturbates, on a regular basis, who has positive emotional feelings toward their body, both the sexes, and any imagined partners. This person is happy to begin with, and enhances their love of life through sexual pleasure. Their life is built on real emotions, and sex is a wonderful addition. They feel genuine appreciation, respect, and love toward any desired partners. They understand what is fantasy and what is reality, and have the utmost best wishes for any desired partners. This person’s sexual experiences result in no problems, and only helps to make them more happy and appreciative of life. Because they have a solid foundation in real emotions, what they build on top is destined to thrive. Their sexual pleasure is associated with positive, appreciative, and loving emotions.

One person masturbates, on an addiction-level basis multiple times a day, who views imagined partners only as sex-objects, with no emotional content. This person is missing something in their lives (heart), and so they try to fill in the blank with sexual pleasure. Their life is built on sexual pleasure. Beyond that, they got nothing going for themselves. They DON’T feel any appreciation, respect, or love toward any desired partners. Their sexual experiences result in no obvious immediate problems, but it’s shallow heartless pleasure that doesn’t cause any sort of positive emotions, and eats up an enormous amount of their time and energy. It’s emotionless and meaningless sexual pleasure, that eventually results in problems. Because this person doesn’t have a solid foundation in real emotions, what they build on top is doomed to topple. Their sexual pleasure is associated with Ego, it’s disconnected from positive loving emotions.

Did you notice how the two different examples dealing with masturbation didn’t mention anything about porn or imagination? Well that’s because it wouldn’t make any difference. If someone is disrespectful, disgusting, and heartless, they are disrespectful, disgusting, and heartless. Porn doesn’t magically make people evil. Their own lack of good does that. Porn doesn’t automatically make people addicted, something very difficult to pinpoint deep down in their psyche does that. (Sparing you the 10 hour lecture here, they are living an inauthentic life.)

If someone enjoys the kind of porn that disrespects women, is that because they themselves already disrespect women, or because the porn is making them disrespect women? Plenty of guys watch porn and have the utmost respect and love for women. So what is truly causing the problem here?

Of course, when an individual repeatedly views porn without any understanding of what is fantasy and what reality, without clearing discerning fantasy from reality, their minds will warp over time and become unhealthy. But not everyone who watches porn does that. Some know what is fantasy and what is reality, and can enjoy both.

The problem isn’t porn. The problem is people who don’t live with appreciation, respect, and love. Porn is another way to enjoy life, and if taken to the extreme, it will become a problem—just like anything in life taken to the extreme does.

Again, of course porn addiction is bad for you. Showing me a study of some dude who ejaculates 5 times a day doesn’t make porn the evil thing. It makes whatever is causing that dude to jerk off so much the evil thing. His unhealthy state of mind is the disease, the excessive masturbation is the symptom. But of course, some people will still insist that the porn is making him jerk off that much. Uh, hello? If that were the case then everyone who watches porn would be doing the exact same thing. That’s a shallow argument, and a logical fallacy, and it holds no weight. The problem is with people. The problems with porn are the problems with people.

The truth of the matter is that porn is not what’s denigrating every woman across the planet. Heartless disrespectful males do that far more than anything else. What’s worse: displaying the act that is needed to create human life, or so-called “men” who refer to women as bitches, hoes, and sluts? Or so-called “men” who lie just to get into a woman’s pants? Or so-called “men” who have unprotected sex with a woman and then run off never to be heard from again? Or so-called “men” who actually believe that women are inferior and should obey their every command? A woman showing off her beautiful body and powerful sexuality isn’t wrong. A woman being treated like an inferior being is.

What’s also denigrating women is people who claim masturbation is inherently wrong. The drive for a man to look at, enjoy, and desire a woman’s body is part of NATURE. It’s just as much a healthy drive as the need to eat is. Trying to repress a natural desire only results in problems. Actually directing natural desires, with awareness and respect, results in lovely things.

Horrible shallow mainstream media is another big one. When you watch a music award show, you’d expect… oh, I don’t know, music? Just like when you click on a porno, and you’d expect… porn. Imagine if you clicked on “Wet ‘n Wild Fyre” and instead of watching me get naughty in the shower, I started singing for you. And trust me, you don’t want to hear me sing.

How often is sex used to sell worthless crap? How often is sex used to get people to watch shallow heartless media? How often is sex used to negatively manipulate people?

And what about the other side. How often is sex used to sell healthy things? How often is sex used to get people to watch inspiring heart-filled media? How often is sex used to positively manipulate people? Why do you think I do what I do?

Yes, sex sells. That’s not the question. The question is: What is being sold? Endless lines of shallow crap to make a profit? Or truth and morality to actually change things for the better?

The truth is that plenty of guys out there have the utmost respect, admiration, and love for women, AND they watch porn. Yes, I’ve met scumbags who make me wanna puke. But more often than not I meet cool guys who are just lonely and horny, and looking for meaning and love in their lives, and I’m doing all I can to help them find that. Yes, there are chronic masturbaters with some serious issues out there. But most people just want to explore, enjoy, and love their own bodies and sexuality, and masturbation is a safe, healthy, and fun way to do that.

A guy gets home from work. He’s horny as hell, and due to the endless line of shallow females he’s met, despite his efforts to look for a good partner, he’s alone. He puts on some porn, and spends an hour or so enjoying his sexuality. He does this for a number of months, but it doesn’t remove his desires for finding a loving partner, and it actually increases his sexual performance, because this guy is aware of his sexuality, and how his brain works. Because he’s educated about his sexuality, he makes smart choices about it. He uses porn to explore and enjoy his sexuality, not destroy his life. Wow, imagine that. What an idea: Putting the responsibility on the individual. Now please, explain to me why this guy is doing such an evil horrible thing that has to be stopped at all costs. What, because he’s not marrying and reproducing asap there is something wrong with him?

Putting pressure on people to get into a relationship asap, yet not allowing them to explore their sexuality through masturbation and porn, encourages really horny (and in denial) people to jump into relationships based on being horny—not on being truly connected. When the desire for sexual pleasure is overwhelming, are you really falling in love or just falling for the first of set of promising genitals? If two people agree to a relationship based on sex, that’s their deal. But don’t pretend a relationship is based on authentic connection when it’s actually based on sex. Define the nature of your relationships, to yourself, and to everyone involved.

The shallow and oversimplified taboo around porn really goes to show where the average human mind is at—a place that takes one or two steps, slaps a final conclusion on it all, and then will never hear another word about it. When the truth is hundreds of step away.

The truth itself is black or white, but your perception of the truth can be any shade of gray.

To the anti-porn people, if they don’t understand objective right and wrong, I have nothing to say to them until they do. Because there is nothing I can say to them. My words would be wasted. Right and wrong are determined by 3 major factors: the full story, Free Will, and is harm being done. What is the full story about a given situation? Is Free Will being violated, yes or no? Is harm being done, yes or no? If yes, it’s wrong. If not, then it’s right.

Wrong does harm. Right does not harm. It’s that freaking simple, it’s not a matter of opinion, and I’m sick of hearing so much confusion on this issue. When the world’s people stop confusing personal preferences with objective right and wrong, it will become a paradise.

Sex. Rape. Lovemaking. Which of these is right, and which is wrong?

Is sex involved with rape? Is sex right or wrong?

Is sex involved with lovemaking? Is sex right or wrong?

“Sex” is neither right nor wrong inherently, more of a story is needed to determine that. However, the word “rape” tells a story all by itself, a clear context is powerfully build-in with the word, and so right and wrong can be determined by the word alone. But “sex” doesn’t tell enough of a story all by itself to determine if it’s right or wrong. So to all those people who are trying to claim that sex is some horrible thing: shut up and have an orgasm.

Porn. Right or wrong? Jumping to a full story already? How do you define this word, “porn”? Do you use it generically, like I do? Could be bad, could be good? Do you make a clear distinction between “porn” and “erotica”? What’s the real difference? The creators of the material? Or the mind of the user? And if all displayed sexuality is always wrong, regardless of its title, what about sexual fantasies? Why is someone imagining themselves fucking my brains out any different from watching a point-of-view porno where I get my brains fucked out?

And now we come to the ridiculous argument that viewing sex with your eyes is bad. Better close your eyes next time you have sex than.

When you have real life sex with a real partner there are chemicals and emotions that are not present during masturbation, but that doesn’t automatically make masturbation wrong.

Positive chemicals and emotions can also be present during masturbation! The pleasure centers of the brain can be used in such a way to bring about… pleasure! Wow, imagine that! What an idea! That someone might be able to experience wonderful sexual pleasure through porn and masturbation AND it doesn’t cause any problems for them. What a notion, that porn doesn’t automatically cause addiction, porn is a potential symptom of an addiction. An addiction, to distractions. Distractions from the real issues deep down in the individual’s psyche.

And yes, sexual pleasure creates neuronal connections in the brain between the pleasure and the object of desire, whether that object is an image on a screen or a real-life partner. This is why Conscious sexual enjoyment is so important with masturbation. (It’s important in general). The Consciousness to discern the differences between fantasy and reality. Discernment is easily one of the most important subjects that people need to think about, but that is another essay unto itself.

(If sexual fantasies can’t be discerned from sexual reality, we m-i-g-h-t want to take a look at other kinds of fantasy. Hollywood? Tell-a-vision? Saturday morning cartoons? Name one Disney movie that has a strong, archetypal mother character as the starring lead. You can’t, can ya? What kind of message does that send to an impressionable young mind? “Your mother will be down-played, beaten, murdered, or replaced with a psycho-bitch. If she’s even mentioned.” The majority of media people are being bombarded with is heavily influencing their lives, their behavior, and all of society. Have you ever noticed how sexuality is almost always associated with something negative throughout nearly the entire spectrum of entertainment? The couple falls in love, but he turns out to be a liar. She finally met the love of her life, but he’s a serial killer. They finally get it on, then get shot at by the bad guys. Where the fuck are the healthy and happy sexual relations that don’t involve any lies, violence, or death? If people are having a hard time discerning fantasy from reality… maybe all that media people are being exposed to needs a big fat finger of blame pointed at it for all the sexual problems people are experiencing? Pleasure without problems people, it’s that simple. Enjoy the fantasy. Deal with reality.)

Bonding with another is a wonderful and beautiful thing, that can never be replaced, and if porn is seriously going to replace that for someone… they got problems. Big problems.

Again, not everyone that watches porn loses interest in connecting with a partner. The argument that porn is the only thing responsible for addiction doesn’t explain the reality of the situation. Yes, porn can contribute to an addiction, and can make an addiction worse, but it does so because of the user.

Of course, if taken to the level of addiction and brain imbalance, the chemicals and emotions will become negative. Just like a shallow couple whose relationship is based on Ego, who only care about sex, will eventually cause negative things. What it all comes back to is what it always comes back to—personal responsibility on the individual level.

Sexual orientation doesn’t determine morality. What size cock someone prefers doesn’t determine if they’re a deep thinker. How big someone likes their tits doesn’t determine if they live with heart. My love of getting double penetrated doesn’t determine whether or not my words are true. Stop confusing personal and private preferences with objective and universal right and wrong. Enough with the shallowness, disrespect, and stupidity. Let’s stop pretending that porn is the issue, because I think everyone knows what the real issue is: The current state of the dumbed-down everyday human mind.

I can’t stress enough to combine emotions, feelings, and thoughts with your sexual pleasure. Use your imagination—don’t just imagine sexual pleasure, imagine a healthy and happy relationship as well. Bring the higher aspects of humanity into the base aspect of sexuality. Let the energies of the higher chakras flow with the energies of the lower chakras. Feel appreciation, connection, love, and more when you enjoy sex, no matter what the context is. Broadcast out those beautiful feelings. Human sexuality isn’t meant to be a purely flesh-based activity, it’s meant to combine the flesh with spirit, the material with the immaterial, the instinctual animal with the awakened Consciousness.

Enjoy masturbation not as a relief, but as an art form. Use it to explore and enjoy your sexuality to the maximum. Push yourself, what levels of pleasure you’re capable of, how potent and long-lasting you can be, and above all: feel appreciation, joy, and other loving emotions during the sexual pleasure. Imagination and masturbation are meant to dance together. So make ’em dance!

A quote from an article linked at the bottom of this page: “Today’s porn is more than a masturbation aid. It replaces imagination with multiple tabs, constant searching, fast forwarding to the perfect scene, a voyeur’s perspective and so forth. It’s a different, and far more neurochemically seductive, reinforcer than mere solo sex.”

I don’t agree with every little thing that forum post mentions, but that line is spot on. I don’t agree with everything the other links mention, but they are great places to explore this topic further.

Mainstream society seems to think the: “one-and-only-all-of-time” kind of love is the ONLY kind of love that has value. But it’s not. Every different expression of love has value. From the love of husband and wife, to boyfriend and girlfriend, to friends with benefits, to purely sexual relations, to the love of an adult entertainer. Of course, those are different kinds of love and so they will deal with vastly different emotions, situations, and experiences, but it’s still love at its core—wishing and bringing about the very best for someone, and having profound appreciation for them.

(The word “like” is the same vibrational energy as “love,” just a less intense, toned down level of energy. There are many different definitions for the word “love,” so make sure you are clear what you mean when you use the word.)

Sex should bring about pleasures ONLY. Any sort of negativity should never be associated with sexuality, whether that’s relationship problems, emotional difficulties, performance issues, or whatever. And in order for that to happen, the individual must combine respect, honesty, and morality with their sexuality. Personal integrity must be more important than sexual conquest. One’s honor must be more important than one’s ecstasy. Health must be more important than pleasure.

Everyone has a right to explore and enjoy THEIR sexuality, so long as it’s pleasure without problems. It’s that simple.

To explore this topic further, here’s a few links:

–This House Believes that Pornography does a Good Public Service, The Cambridge Union Society

–Your Sexuality: Ask & Tell: Alyssa Royse at TEDxRainier

–Porn Addiction is Not Sex Addiction

–The great porn experiment | Gary Wilson | TEDxGlasgow

Let’s explore pleasure without problems in the next essay.