Dreams to Fire chapter 11

Yong Yuan is tucked away from busy streets, decorated with oriental art pieces, soaked in a hunger-inducing gold and red color scheme, and filled by the sounds of relaxing Chinese music. It’s the kind of restaurant that’s not well advertised yet better than the ones that are. People come here for the food and atmosphere, not the hype.

They take a booth seat. “You kept that place smokin’ till it closed. No one wanted to leave with you there. You’re going to make the other women there hate you, you know that right?”

“I think they already do, except for Jenna. Oh well. I’m not out to make enemies, but if that happens in the pursuits of my goals, so be it.”

“So be it. So what do you want to eat? This place has got everything.”

“Does it now. I don’t know. I’m hungry though. Something… beefy. And hot.”

“Spicy Mongolian Beef?”

“Sounds delicious.”

They order. The waiter knows Obe, one of his regulars who’s always alone. He approves of Obe’s company with a respectful smile before he leaves.

“So, about what you said earlier. That you’re not motivated by money. I find that fascinating. What are your intentions, if not money?”

“That’s going to require a lecture Obe. I’ve got a lot to say. Reason I have my blogs.”

“I’m not just good at watching Fy, I’m also good at listening.”

Her face does nothing to hide how much she adores his words. Obe places his elbows at his sides, hands in his lap, and relaxes back into his seat.

She takes a deep breath. “I’ll give you the quick version, for now. The so called ‘issues’ out there are not the real issues. The issue isn’t porn, or homosexuals, or lifestyles—the real issue is the lack of respect for Free Will. Every time I turn around somebody is confusing personal preference for objective right and wrong. People, on mass, as a general statement, clearly do not know right from wrong . If they did, there wouldn’t be so many wasteful words of hate. There wouldn’t be so much harm and death. There would a world of peace and beauty, instead of profits and Ego.

“And if people, on mass, don’t start to ‘get it’ real soon, we can all kiss freedom goodbye and Collectively kiss tyranny on the ass. Respect for Free Will is what morality is all about. And freedom has a directly proportional relationship with morality. The more morality people have, the more freedom they will have. Because that’s how reality works. This isn’t my opinion.

“My primary intention is to bring these truths, and many more, to as many people as possible, in whatever ways I can. All the wisdom in the world is worth nothing if no attention is directed at it. And while there are plenty of ways to catch attention, you have to admit: sex is a very effective means.”

Obe smiles as he chuckles. “No argument here.”

“Another intention of mine, and I understand it’s overly ambitious, but, I want to show the world what sexuality could be. Should be. No guilt, no infidelity, no broken hearts, no unwanted ‘oops’ babies, no breaking the rules agreed upon, no abuse, no rape, no soul-less-ness. No Ego driven envy, although healthy motivating jealousy is another story. Just fantastic and satisfying pleasure, upon every level, that deepens the connections between people to intensify the love and appreciation we feel for each other. And of course, creating new life.

“Sex isn’t just physical. It’s also energetic, even divine. Divinely sensuous. Sex, of whatever nature and with however many people involved, should be deepening human connections, not pushing us further apart into the dark depths of loneliness. Sex should be a celebration of our very existence. Intense, honorable, and beautiful confirmation that we-are-alive.”

Obe shifts in his seat. ”That is, I don’t how to respond to that. The world is full of so much sexual degradation though. Degradation in general. You certainly have your work cut out for you.”

“I know. And I’m not expecting miracles or anything, I’m simply doing what my intuition guides me to do—not what somebody else does or does not approve of. I have to do something, instead of nothing.”

“But a lot of people take the stance that porn is automatically degrading. I love what you saying, and I agree with you, I got no complaints. But you’re going to seriously piss some people off.”

She laughs. “Haters will hate. And they can define the word ‘porn’ however they want, but I say it isn’t inherently degrading. I could use the word ‘erotica,’ but come on, it’s porn. Not everyone interested in creating erotic material is insecure, out to make a quick buck, or is some psychologically imbalanced drug fiend. And I seek to show that, to prove that. Whether people like it or not, porn isn’t going away, just as sexuality isn’t going away. So instead of calling for the destruction of porn, I say let’s call for the direction of porn. Porn with standards, where we all do whatever is needed to ensure that erotic entertainment is always a positive thing, created and enjoyed in the proper healthy contexts. There’s a difference between enjoying and exploring your sexuality with porn, and being addicted to porn. Pleasure itself is never the problem, it’s the repercussions of pleasure where problems can arise. The full story around the pleasure. Everyone has the right to experience sexuality however they wish, with whatever level of privacy they choose, so long as they honor Free Will. So as long it’s pleasure without problems.

“The world needs to realize there are people who are not afraid of their sexuality, whatsoever. People who are also intelligent, disciplined, and real. Beautiful people who aren’t fake. Maybe a little weird, or really weird, but still beautiful. And beauty is, in so many ways, what it’s all about. It’s so important.”

“How so?”

“Think about it: beauty, in all its different forms, sexual included, is supposed to be gazed upon, to be appreciated, to be intensely experienced and thoroughly enjoyed. Human behavior across the spectrum clearly proves that, it’s just that different people find beauty in different places. People can say that porn is this ugly horrible thing, but come on, something like one in four Internet searches is for porn, it’s the most downloaded content off the entire Internet,” they both chuckle. “And on top of that, masturbation has this horrible taboo around it, the very word does, yet it’s a healthy and natural way to explore and enjoy one’s own sexuality. Things are backwards.

“And while I imply beauty of every kind, I specifically mean beauty itself. The exact reality behind the word. Beauty so joyous it makes you immeasurably happy to be alive. An experience so overwhelmingly beautiful… it is confirmation of something divine at work in the world. Simply put, beauty is meant to be on display.”

Her eyes light up his, not one glance directed at his beastly muscular body.

His eyes welcome it, unwavering as hers, not caring he has absolutely nothing to say.

“But anyway, what about you? What brought you to be a bouncer at a place like Plan C?”

He hesitates. “That story is really long and, hard to tell.”

She half-giggles as she says, “Well I do like long and hard!”

He has to look away and laugh. He glances back at her playfully sexy face, unsure how to respond.

“Caught you off guard with that one huh? Come on Obe, you can open up a little. I won’t judge you, in any sort of negative way. I don’t do that. I seek to understand what’s really going on. Everything happens for a reason.”

How I wish that were true.

As he remembers things his daily life is meant to make him forget, he holds back emotions he would reveal in his tone of voice, but the dam of his mind, which is just strong enough to hold it all back, yet lost enough to convince itself it couldn’t handle it all, prevents such release into his words, “I’ve seen beauty destroyed. Far too much. So I wanted to find a place where I could protect it. I know a strip club isn’t exactly a ‘beauty-filled’ place for most people. But to me, it is. Women, and the gift of a woman’s body, are beautiful beyond words to me. Works of art. If a woman chooses to display her body in a place like that, that is her choice, not mine. Everyone needs to make money. But I’m not going to let her become disrespected, or abused.”

Gift… “I know what you mean. So you’re a bouncer for the strippers, but in a way, could I say, you’re a bouncer for beauty itself?”

“I’ve never looked at it like that. Yeah, you could say that.”

“What a job. Obe, I’m so happy we met. You make me feel safe, and warm. Loved.”

He has nothing to say—with spoken words.

“Two Mongolian Beef. Enjoy,” the waiter says.

“Ah thank you. Enjoy Fy, it’s on me.”

“I will.”

They eat for awhile in silence, enjoying the delicious food. While the food is amazing, it does little to distract them from their thoughts.

“Obe.”

“Yes Fy?”

She puts her chopsticks down. “When I was seventeen, my life had direction. I had a loving boyfriend, perfect grades in high school, and wise parents who were my teachers, my friends, my guides. I came home one day to the police at my door. My parents were found murdered.

“After, I was shattered. I had no direction. If it wasn’t for my grandparents I never would have recovered. Well, recovered as much as I have. I still miss them. All the time. My mother was a popular nude model, and before she died, she was writing a book. A book on what sexuality should be—among many other things. She was beginning a journey to do something about all the misunderstandings, bullshit, and degradation she saw. She told me her ideas, and wrote some of them down, before she was gone. Those ideas stuck with me, and evolved. I’m continuing on her short-lived journey, evolving it into my own. What I’m doing, with all this sex stuff, is my passion, my personal journey, even my purpose. And I don’t care how that may sound. The desire for pleasure should not cause any pain.

“Obe, tragedy happens. Death is… death is the hardest lesson to learn in life. But we have to learn it. That’s part of life. Trust me on this one, ignoring your emotions will never bring love back into your life. It will never make anything better. We have to heal, somehow. We have to push through the healing process, no matter how difficult it is. And healing can’t happen in the absence of love,” her soul stares directly into his, “Are you afraid to love, Obe?”

She could see it in my face. “Very useful skill.”

“It sure is.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents. That must have been so difficult, to lose everything so suddenly.” He shifts in his seat again, looking away. “Fyrona, I don’t know how to say this. I don’t know if I should…” He looks off into the distance, staring into the nothingness of a meaningless wall.

“I’m not trying to push anything on you. I do what I can to help people. To help heal. You don’t have to say anything more,” she places a hand on top of his. Her hand seems so small over his, yet in some ways more powerful. “But, don’t hold it inside forever. Let the healing happen. When you’re ready.”

He wants to let a tear out, but there’s no room on this face for that. “Thank you. I will. When I’m ready. You are, uh, really good. Are you like a psychic or something? Reading my mind?”

“No. Just got the very useful human skills. My parents taught me them, from a young age. Something everyone should be taught.”

“They certainly come in handy.”

“They certainly do.”

“I would like to continue talking about this, but at another time. Will you be doing a show next Saturday?”

“Next Saturday, same time, weekly. Why do you ask?”

“I work there two nights a week, now. When I started it was nearly every night, the place was bad. But after things got stable, I became interested in fixing up motorcycles and cars, anything with an engine. I work full time as a mechanic. I do a lot of custom stuff, it’s fun. Something I feel called to do. I was asking because, I’d like to be there when you do your shows. For protection purposes.” He glances down at her bulging chest, smiling. “And I admit, to watch you dance.”

“I would absolutely love to have you bounce during my shows. Let’s make it a kind of deal. You be the bouncer, and I’ll be the beauty.” Obe’s face lights up in joy. “And, you’re a mechanic? Custom? That’s perfect. Because I have a thousand and one ideas for my Firebird, but no time nor skill to do it all. Wanna,” Fy chuckles, “’pimp my ride?’”

“I’d love to! Come into my shop on Monday and I’ll get to work.”

“Sounds good. And you’re right. This place does have delicious cooks this time of night.”

“It sure does.”

They finish eating in silence. But before the fortune cookies are cracked open, they both have something to say.

“Fy, I need to tell you something. I find you beautiful, attractive, interesting, and sexy beyond belief. Good lord woman. But I would like to keep our relationship as just friends. For now. It’s easier for me that way.”

Obe swears he sees her green eyes pulse. “I’m glad you brought that up, cuz I would like to say a few things as well. I respect your wishes, and I have no problem with that. You are a sexy, attractive and beautiful man, in every way I desire.

“But I’m going to be upfront and clear about what I’m looking for. So there’s no bullshit between us. I have a female lover, Lana, and she and I both know what we want. We enjoy each others company on a very regular basis. But Lana and I are not ‘together’ in that sense. We are close friends who also call each other lovers. We’re fuck-buddies, but it’s not mindless shallow sex. We love each other. Our pleasure doesn’t have a price-tag.”

Obe perks an eyebrow on an intrigued face.

“But I’m a bisexual woman, and I’m also looking for love with a man. But not my ‘one and only’ kind of love. I’m not looking to get married, settle down, grow old doing the same old things for fifty plus years and retire. That’s not the life I’m looking for. Not saying that’s wrong, it’s just not for me. And not saying I don’t desire to deeply bond as faithful lovers, because I do. For me, being faithful isn’t a matter of what society says, it’s a matter of what my partner and I say. The label people like to use is polyamorous.

“What that means is, I know I’m going have sexual relations with more than one person. But don’t misunderstand me, because anyone I do have a sexual relationship with—I will love. With passion, total honesty, and faithfulness to our agreed-upon relationship. I’m wild, but I’m not a cheater. I will always love with authenticity. With no one being afraid of what they may feel or desire. Loving relationships have no room for fear. That’s why they’re called: loving-relationships. I’m not interested in sleeping with a mask. My sexuality is based on my phrase: pleasure without problems.

“What I’m saying is Obe, should you and I become sexually involved with each other, whenever you might be ready, don’t have any illusions about me, or us. Clearly define what you desire, to me and yourself. Know what the nature of our relationship would be, what our rules clearly state, and know where you stand. Or else you won’t know me.”

His licks his lips as he looks away from her. There’s an irresistible smile on his face. “I understand. And that does sound really damn good, I must admit.” He stares right at her. “Your honesty is amazing. But I’d like for us to remain as just friends. For now.”

“Understood. I don’t desire to break any hearts. I desire to help put them back together.”

Obe’s face is the very picture of lost and lonely.

Fy says, “But it is getting late for me, and I’ll need my rest for tomorrow.”

“Of course. But we need to eat our fortune cookies.”

“Of course.”

“What does yours say?”

Fy is about to open the cookie, but she stops. “Obe… do you think I should read the fortune first, or eat the cookie first?”

“Does it matter?”

“Someone I once trusted said it did. If you eat the cookie first,” she pauses, “you have to accept the fortune. Deal with whatever fate throws your way. But if you read the fortune first, you have the option to throw the cookie away, and tell fate to fuck off.”

Obe already ate most of his cookie while Fy was talking. As he crunches the last of it down, he says, “Is that right?”

“What does yours say?” Fy grins at Obe’s insatiable hunger, as she eats her own cookie.

He reads, “You will make many changes before satisfaction sets in.”

“Intriguing.”

“What does your say?”

Fy finishes her cookie, and reads her fortune.

And can’t stop laughing.

“What does it say, what’s so funny?”

“It, it says, ‘You will do well to expand your business.’”

They crack up in laughter. After a beautiful moment of staring into each others eyes, Obe pays for their meals, and the two walk outside into the night air. Her Firebird is parked next to his custom-made impressive motorcycle.

“Obe, just so you know, I wasn’t planning on anything more than a simple kiss tonight. I have a three date rule.”

“Understood. I guess I have a no kissing rule.”

She sensually chuckles, and shifts some hair behind an ear. And decides she should probably save the naughty details about when she broke that little rule with Lana for another time. “Understood as well.”

“So if you don’t mind me asking, what do you have planned for tomorrow?”

“Lana and I call it: ‘Sunday-Funday.’”

“I see. I certainly don’t want to get in the way of that.”

Her enticing voice drips with arousal, “Are you sure about that?”

“Let’s call it a night Fyre.”

“Okay.” Her mischievous grin is temptation and authenticity rolled up into one enjoyable challenge for him. “Should we do this again next Saturday?”

“Yeah, let’s. I’ve enjoyed this. A lot. Thank you. You’re amazing in every way a woman could be amazing. Have fun tomorrow.”

“I will. Goodnight Obe.”

“Goodnight Fy.”

Chapter 12